I don't post much on Facebook, but I read other people's posts and often leave comments. This morning I followed a link to read a very long post by a writer I only know from Facebook. My eyes were clouded by tears when I got to the end. It was about her efforts to fix the problems with her very dysfunctional family. She didn't go into detail, but from what she said, it sounded like there was terrible abuse. Her efforts to talk it out with her family now that they were all adults failed completely.
I can't get it out of my mind.
The only problem my family had was a chronic lack of finances. We lived in a rundown building. One of my babysitting customers always made cracks about it when he took me home. Something about having to hurry before they tore the building down.
To me it was home and a refuge from the world. I felt safe and loved. The cheap rent attracted an oddball mix of people. For some it was just a springboard to better places and for some like us, it was permanent until they actually did tear the building down.
We knew most of the neighbors and stayed connected long after we left the building.
It's not that I didn't have challenges, but never from my family. My parents came from very different backgrounds, but we stayed connected to both sides. I went to a high school that was almost all Black and sometimes I was the only white person in a class. The school was boarded by a street that had the second highest crime rate in the city. I walked over a mile to school, mostly alone and mostly worried.
But I always felt grateful for my family and all the other people who did nice things for me. When my parents died there was no unfinished business, just a lot of good memories.
There was nothing I could do or say to that writer to erase what happened in her life. It doesn't seem like much, but I sent her a million hugs.